Canny Kenny knocks another chapter out of long goodbye

Raymond Chandler was one of the greatest exponents of a style of fiction writing known as crime noir. His hero was the gritty detective, Philip Marlow, who lived on the seedy streets of the Los Angeles of the 1940s.

Chandler’s connection to Irish politics in 2017 might be a little obscure – but his most famous work was the Long Goodbye.

And every time I think of that last title, I think of Enda Kenny.

First off, he’s turned into one of the greatest exponents of fiction in the 21st century. Not that Kenny intends that; it’s just that he sometimes forgets that the ‘scéal’ he is telling bears no relation to reality.

That happened again last weekend when he disclosed he brought up the issue of women’s rights when he was in Saudi Arabia in 2014. It later emerged that he told the Dáil upon his return from the Middle East he had not, in fact, specifically, brought up the issue during his visit. Saudi women are regarded as chattels – there’s no other way of putting it.

Previously, when defending water charges, he told the story of the “man with two pints who came up to me in a bar” giving out about the charges. Kenny said his response to the man was that he would pay less every week for water charges than the price of two pints. His problem was that he repeated the story several times, and each version differed from the one before.

Early on in the government, the Taoiseach’s fondness for anecdotes landed him in a little hot water. He talked about guys directly contacting him congratulating him on tax changes that had been made in the first Budget in 2011 when, in fact, they were people who had emailed Government.

The biggest of course – and the one that kind of put a halt to any thinking he would last until 2018 – was his account to the Dáil of a conversation he had with Minister for Children Katherine Zappone about a conversation they never had. He said he had briefed her, and given her advice, ahead of a meeting she had with Sergeant Maurice McCabe. That conversation had never happened.

That brought forward his departure date. But that was February and we are now into May and there’s still no sign of him letting the world know that he’s slinging his political hook.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.