Lesbian couple expecting baby after successful IVF journey at Galway clinic

Stephanie Ronan (40) and her wife Clare (39) are expecting their baby very soon. Stephanie is currently 32 weeks pregnant and is over the moon.

The couple currently live in Roscommon after moving back to Ireland three years ago from the UK.

“We chose to get married in Carrick-on-Shannon in County Leitrim four years ago,” Stephanie said in an exclusive interview.

They have been together for eight years in total and have finally been able to make their dream of having a baby come true.

The pair started thinking about having a baby back in 2020 and had actually started IVF.

“Due to unforeseen circumstances I had to have an operation before we could proceed so we kind of put it on the back burner after that. I had my operation and then it was getting too close to the wedding. it would have been too much of a struggle to have a baby and then try and get into my wedding dress.

“So we put it on hold and then obviously we got married in 2022. Then we moved back to Ireland in August of 2023.”

Stephanie said that her and Clare then started the conversation of starting a family again in 2024.

“We started looking into clinics and our options around Ireland. In the UK, you have a lot more clinics and it's a lot easier to go through it. We started the research early in 2024 and then we came across Therapy Fertility”.

Stephanie said that the idea of having a baby in Ireland as a lesbian couple wasn’t daunting socially but they both knew it was now or never for them.

“I mean we live in a very Roman Catholic town, it's a very small town but we've had no issues living here as a lesbian couple at all and it was a very, very, very easy decision.

“We knew the two of us that we wanted to start a family and my kind of my age was starting to go against me and I kind of knew that you know once you hit 40, it's very, very hard for IVF to be as successful as somebody in their 20s or 30s.

“So it was the case that we need to do this now otherwise it's not really going to happen for us as a couple.”

Starting a family through IVF can take a lot of trial and error, time and can be quite costly.

Stephanie tried a round of IUI first but then decided it wasn’t the right choice for them and then went on to do IVF.

“I wouldn't even bother with IUI honestly, I really wouldn't. If we could turn back the clock we would have gone straight in with IVF because the process is a lot simpler and it's a lot less medication.

“The difference between the two is when you go for IUI if your body produces more than two eggs the clinic won't go ahead and proceed with the procedure because it's a multiple pregnancy risk so it can be detrimental to your health and obviously to your baby's health.”

Stephanie has PCOS so for her it took us three rounds of medication for the IUI which was very expensive and ended up failing.

She said that IVF is a more cost effective way of doing it.

“For us it was massive because we ended up with 16 embryos at the end of the process so 16 chances of having a baby instead of just one with one round of IUI. As a lesbian couple where you have to buy your sperm, I would say one hundred percent go with IVF.

“I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant so seven weeks today and the baby hopefully will be here.”

Stephanie said that “it's very surreal, especially when it's something that you're paying for. It sounds awful but that's not taking anything away from straight couples because it's just as magical but as an LGBTQ plus couple you don't kind of have another option.

“It's the only option we have so you're spending so much money and to get that positive test is... oh god, it's incredible. It's such a good feeling.”

Stephanie noted that once you get a positive pregnancy test, you still can’t fully relax.

“Then you're counting down every single appointment once you get your pregnancy test verified at the clinic. Whereas some straight couples might not find out they're pregnant until they're like God, even 16 weeks so it's crazy if you're counting down every day and you're praying that nothing goes wrong and that the baby stays healthy and it grows and things like that.

“It's stressful but exciting at the same time.”

Stephanie said that the whole process for them worked out about €15,500 in total.

“I wouldn't change it for the world, honestly because it sounds a lot but actually when you compare it to some of the clinics that are in England or the United States, for example, it’s extortionate there so it's actually not that bad.

Stephanie said that their family and friends don’t know the gender of the baby yet and it will be a nice surprise.

“We just call it Nugget and we've always called it Nugget from the very first time we found out in Galway. It'll stay Nugget until it's here.”

Stephanie and Clare have no worries on raising their child as a lesbian couple because of the support they have been receiving locally since they became pregnant.

“Everyone here in Ireland has been nothing but supportive, like honestly, we even walk into the post office and the neighbours are like ‘oh my god, how are you? How's the baby doing? How are you feeling? Honestly the people here are so supportive so I don't think we have any issues at all.

“Times have changed so much. There are stories that you can buy that help explain to a baby why they might have two daddies or why they might have two mommies. It's something that obviously we will always be honest with our child about.”