Not as it seems through English looking glass!

Should have seen the signs really. There was my lifelong friend Neil waiting for me as I walked out of arrivals at Heathrow on the day of the referendum.

“Thanks mate!’ I said after the familiar man-hug, “Means the world to me to be met!”

“Yeh well, just as well I did come, as you’d never’ve been able to make it to ours. The Tube’s closed.”

“The District line?”

“All of them. We’ve had a day and a half of apocalyptic rain and now they’re flooded.”

“Yeh, I s’pose the clue’s in the name: Underground.”

“You’d think, but in fact the bits that are flooded are overground. The underground parts are fine.”

“What the -?”

Yeh, I know. C’mon, let’s go find my car.”

As we drove through the traffic-sodden streets I looked at London and felt a little disappointed. Living in the west of Ireland I look forward to visiting the city of my birth, where usually I enjoy glimpses of the modern world: slick, cutting edge technology and a train every three minutes.

Yes, the rain was truly hammering down upon London, Galway style’n’fashion, but the entire tube network wiped out? Really?

Should have seen the signs, but in the corridors of the English Establishment life is lived ‘Through The Looking Glass’, where signs are shadows and while you’re worried about what’s behind you the man standing in front of you does the dirty deed.

There’s an arcane air of the Victorian Music Hall about the way the Conservative Party performs its leadership business, but once you’ve learned the rules you may exploit them.

Boris has played a blinder. He knew that he wouldn’t win a leadership contest because Tory MPs see him for the vacuous charismatic snot bubble that he is. Boris creates a dilemma for his parliamentary colleagues. They can’t abide the man. Plainly incapable of doing the job of Prime Minister, he has the ability to win a General Election. They won’t vote for him but the country might.

Boris never wanted it now, especially with all that pesky EU negotiation stuff to come. Boris wants to win in 2020. That’s why, hours after the referendum result, his people had a word with Theresa May’s people, explaining that Boris was willing to stand down from a leadership contest, if she’d agree to stand down as Prime Minister for him in 2020.

Ms. May told Boris to go away and sit on the naughty step. Can’t he see mummy’s busy?

To read Charlie’s column in full, please see this week’s Galway City Tribune.