Family Fun Day – is that the ultimate contradiction?

here are few phrases in life more guaranteed to bring you out in a cold sweat than the threat of a 'Family Fun Day'.

In case you don't get the concept, you should know that the staples of a Family Fun Day are face painting, bouncy castles, animal-shaped balloons, karaoke, a mini disco and Marvo the magician.

Optional extras for your Family Fun Day would include a barbecue, a variety of home-baking, a pet zoo, a Wheel of Fortune, bottle stalls and a race of rubber ducks down the nearest stream.

Then there is the Armageddon option – otherwise known as the Family Fun Run, an oxymoron to trump Papal Presbyterians. It would be hard enough for a family to run around the roads or woods together without having to pretend they’re enjoying it at the same time.

But let’s track back and take a look at just a few of those attractions to see why they might not be the greatest idea for a fun day.

Bouncy castles, for example, are about the last place you should go after having had three cans of Coke to wash down the chips. Same goes for giant slides or bumper cars.

As for face painting – and into this mix we can also throw hair braiding – why in the world would you think it’s a good idea to paint your child blue and pink? Hasn’t that the potential to do untold damage to the car upholstery on the already-tense journey home?

And the one sure thing about all balloons – whether they’ve been pummelled into the shape of a giraffe or not – is that they burst.

And when they burst, the child doesn’t try and remember the positives; they burst into tears because everyone else’s inflated animal is still good to go.

The problem with a Family Fun Day is that it's supposed to encapsulate all that's great – a day out with the kids for a cause that is almost inevitably both heart-warming and heart-breaking all at the same time.

For more, read this week’s Connacht Tribune.