Tiger's a cheetah - and a leopard never changes spots

SO there you have it – the Tiger was really just a cheetah after all. And if he’d bagged as many birdies on the golf course as he did in real life, he truly would be out of sight on the all-time winners list.But transgressions can wreak terrible havoc on a man, even moreso when you sell yourself as the clean-cut sporting icon whose so chiselled chin makes you a perfect choice for cutting edge razor technology.Obviously Irish soccer fans stabbed the wrong voodoo doll when they swore revenge on the Gillette endorsers – although Thierry Henry has some form in this department too, having driven off at some speed (and at some cost) from the lovely Nicole once the dust settled on those Renault ads of old.It will of course be harder to hang anything on Roger Federer to complete the set, partly because the Swiss aren’t the most exciting race in the first place – but mainly because Roger is so dull he makes the rest of his fellow citizens look like the maddest of party animals.But until Thierry Henry is hanged, drawn and quartered for his hand ball crimes against humanity, it’s Cheetah Woods who’ll continue to endure the closest of shaves. How we love to see the mighty squirm –the man who, as the Sun put it, let his family down and his pants down has suddenly lost the veneer of an untouchable champion with the perfect wife – made in Sweden, finished in the US – to show his true colours.It transpires that this Tiger just couldn’t keep his tail under lock and key and seems to have acquired more cocktail waitresses and nightclub hostesses than Simon Cowell.Of course part of the problem is that sports stars like Messrs Woods, Federer and Henry have a different vocabulary to the rest of us – to a tennis player love means nothing; for a soccer star, scoring regularly is the key to success, and for golfers, birdies are the vital ingredient to playing a round.Tiger broke down so many barriers as a sportsman – the expression on the faces of the old boys in Augusta when a black man first donned the US Masters green jacket would justify his entire career for a start – but in the end the man was just as human as the rest of us.It didn’t matter that he epitomised the American dream; the greatest golfer of his day married to the beautiful Swedish au pair with the perfect children, the big houses, the Nike and Gillette endorsements to outstrip anything he could ever win on the course.If you include Obama and Mandela, he is one of the three most famous black men on the planet – which is why you’d have to wonder how he thought he’d get away with it in the first place.Of course he’ll recover, and in some quarters he has finally acquired an edge. Because being flawed can be an even bigger moneyspinner than being perfect.Think of George Best, John McEnroe, Mike Tyson, Gazza, Eric Cantona, Eddie Irvine, even OJ Simpson; most of them brilliant at their chosen sport but equally as famous for their activities outside of it.Of course we shouldn’t think of sports stars as role models in the first place – who’d want their son to base their moral code on your average Premiership footballer for whom roasting is never something to be done in the kitchen?Tiger Woods will win more golf tournaments and – if he thinks he can get away with it – he will probably entertain a few more cocktail waitresses or nightclub hostesses at some stage on the golf tour as well.Because when the nightmare is over, he’s still livin’ the dream. And if a Tiger is really a cheetah, he’ll know one thing about another of his wild friends from the jungle – a leopard never changes his spots.

For more see page 13 of this week's Connacht Tribune