As one of the self-employed I can’t miss my staff party!

There’s a plate in front of me crammed with a fresh fillet of PJ McDonagh’s cod wrapped in golden batter and a steaming mountain of chips. Normally I’d be stuffing this wondrous food into my gob with gusto, but not tonight.

I’m not a well man. Haven’t been for a while, but over the last few weeks the needs of others have taken precedence.

Tonight, however, is all about me. Despite the way my body feels like a damp wrung flannel, I’m going out for my Staff Christmas Party.

Just because I work for myself, I see no reason to miss out on this tradition, so every December I celebrate with one of my organic Galway rambles.

There’s only one rule: no arrangements. Let Galway do it to you.

My Staff Christmas Party had to be postponed last week, as sadly I was in England for my aunt’s sudden funeral. Earlier today I contemplated calling in sick, but the Boss told me attendance was mandatory.

Easing more of McDonagh’s heavenly ballast into my belly, I sign up for the Silly Bugger Olympics: a competition between my mental health and my physical wellbeing. By the application of craic and whiskey, I’ll poison either this debilitating virus or myself before bedtime.

On her way back from work, the Snapper spots me looking out of the chipper’s window and pops in to wish me well for my night out.

“Town’s totally dead!” I say.

“Perfect!” she replies. “Just the way you like it, you antisocial git!” With a kiss goodbye she heads home, as behind her I whisper: ‘ … but when town’s like this, you can see who you want to see.’

Ignoring the fact that all I want to see right now is the underside of my duvet, I head over to the Quays, where I sit outside under the heater, armed with my first Jameson of the night.

Within minutes I feel released from a straightjacket of stress and anxiety that I didn’t even realise I was wearing.

I’m free! For a few wonderful hours nobody wants anything from me and I do not have to be anywhere or do anything. It’s been far too long since I felt like this. First victory of the night goes to my mental health.

To read Charlie’s column in full, see this week’s Galway City Tribune.