Trying in vain to join the club of natural early risers

THERE are conflicting views as to whether I’m an early riser – or not – and that’s probably understandable in that I’m not too sure myself of the answer to that little conundrum. And while I’ve read various advisories about the tips which will help me to get out of the scratcher a little  bit earlier, that rather relatively simple piece of morning ‘action’ has never come that easy to me.

As young lads, we heard tales from our father about how such-and-such-a-one back the road would on the way to the bog with his horse-and-cart in the morning by 6.30, as we peacefully slumbered away in a deep sleep.

We were told that the ‘early risers’ should be an example to us all and that there was quite a simple formula to getting out early, in line with the old rhyme of: “Early to bed and early to rise; Makes a man, healthy, wealth and wise” – but implementation always seemed to be the problem with that mantra.

The eight-hour daily sleep quota figure has been ingrained into my mind since I was a child, although most of us are familiar with the bedtime routine of one Maggie Thatcher, who apparently got by, during her hey-day on four hours sleep per night. Maybe that accounted for her fractious nature which was anything but helpful in terms of reconciliation on our little island of Ireland.

Anyway, my chances of surviving on four or five hours a night with eyes closed, would be nil . . . coming in at the ‘national average’ of seven to eight hours a night, depending on various factors, including the few pints the night before.

While I do set the alarm clock on working days for around the 6am mark, that’s only half the battle, as it can often take the bones of another hour before the departure gates are eventually cleared for take-off.

One of the ultimate ironies in all of this, is that on a morning off when there is zero pressure on getting up at a certain time, all inclinations to ‘sleep on’ to a reasonable time like 8am or 8.30am, seem to evaporate from my consciousness.

One of the old sayings out the country from times past is that someone ‘took to the bed’ and in cases like that it was normally the man of the house who never departed from the blankets for weeks on end during the winter . . . probably cases of ‘seasonal adjusted disorder’ or SAD, as we now know it to be.